Monster: Jason Voorhees, as depicted in Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter

Yes, Jason Voorhees. It was only a matter of time before I mentioned Jason. However, rather than go through his entire backstory, I’ll just discuss him as he’s depicted in Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (AKA Friday the 13th Part 4).

In this installment of the series, Jason is back and arguably badder than ever (though he’s never been a very good guy). When we first see Jason, he’s apparently dead in the morgue. But guess what? He’s actually not dead! Surprised? Well, if you are surprised, you don’t know Jason. Before very long, he’s after the morgue staff with a hacksaw, then a scalpel. When that job’s done, you know he’s going to find some new work down the road.

Have a nice weekend getaway planned? Well, don’t plan it at Camp Crystal Lake. That’s Jason’s lake. He doesn’t want people near it, and he won’t tell them, “Hey, guys, could you please pack it up and leave? This is sort of my retirement home.” Nope. In fact, Jason won’t tell them anything at all. He’ll just kill ’em. And if you succesfully were to kill him? Well, he’d come back eventually, just because. It’s what he does. It has something to do with avenging his crazy dead mother or something, after she was decapitated for slaughtering kids at Camp Crystal Lake, because she held them responsible for the young Jason’s drowning death. Yep.

In Part 4, Jason faces off against a new foe: Corey Feldman. Well, okay, it’s Corey Feldman playing a kid named Tommy Jarvis, but that’s a mere technicality. Tommy also has a sister named Trish, who does a hell of a lot of damage to Jason toward the end of the movie. Still, the one to hack Jason up the most is Tommy. I mean, he really lets Jason have it.

Not to say Trish Jarvis didn’t do any damage.  Look at this shit!

jason fingers

Even Jason’s probably probably thinking, “Hmm, maybe I should consider a new line of work.”

So there you have it. Pretty much. The only other thing I need to mention is Crispin Glover’s infamous dance in the movie, as he played some weird guy named Jimmy. Now, I honestly think Jason should have spared this guy. I really do. But alas, that’s not Jason’s way. The strong, silent and violent type, you just can’t dance your way out of Jason’s way.

Oh, and the movie has plenty of different boobs, too (probably more than any other Friday The 13th movie).

I’m surprised by how lengthy this post is.

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